Rejected monologues

Biff Loman, 'Death of a Salesman'

You know why I had no address for three months? I stole a suit in Kansas City and I was jailed. I stole myself out of every good job since high school. And I never got anywhere because you blew me so full of hot air I could never stand taking orders from anybody! That's whose fault it is! It's goddamn time you heard that! I had to be boss big shot in two weeks, and I'm through with it! Willy! I ran down eleven flights with a pen in my hand today. And suddenly I stopped, you hear me? And in the middle of that office building, do you hear this? I stopped in the middle of that building and I saw - the sky. I saw the things that I love in the world. The work and the food and the time to sit and smoke. And I looked at the pen and said to myself, what the hell am I grabbing this for? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? What am I doing in an office, making a contemptuous, begging fool of myself, when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am! Why can't I say that, Willy? Pop! I'm a dime a dozen, and so are you! I am not a leader of men, Willy, and neither are you. You were never anything but a hard-working drummer who landed in the ash-can like all the rest of them! I'm one dollar an hour, Willy! I tried seven states and couldn't raise it! A buck an hour! Do you gather my meaning? I'm not bringing home any prizes any more, and you're going to stop waiting for me to bring them home! Pop, I'm nothing! I'm nothing, Pop. Can't you understand that? There's no spite in it any more. I'm just what I am, that's all. Will you let me go, for Christ's sake? Will you take that phoney dream and burn it before something happens?

Reason for Rejection
This was my strongest other contender. I was going to use this part to audition for Matt's Father in The Laramie project, as the American accent and sufficient levels of anguish were there for me to showcase. It also fitted reasonably well as a good contrast in social standing to Alastair's evil snobbery. However, I felt it was too similar to both my monologues designed for Will Cain and I decided to go with the contrast in emotion between characters of a similar class as opposed to two emotionally similar characters from different backgrounds.


Thomas, 'The Lady's not for Burning'

You bubble-mouthing, fog-blathering,
 Chin-chuntering, chap-flapping, liturgical,
 Turgidical, base old man! What about my murders?
 And what goes round in your head,
 What funny little murders and fornications
 Chatting up and down in three-four time
 Afraid to come out? What bliss to sin by proxy
 And do penance by way of someone else!
 But we'll not talk about you. It will make the outlook
 So dark. Neither about this exquisitely
 Mad young woman. Nor about this congenital
 Generator, your nephew there;
 Nor about anyone but me. I'm due
 To be hanged. Good Lord, aren't two murders enough
 To win half the medals of damnation? Must I put
 Half a dozen children on a spit
 And toast them at the flame that comes out of my mouth?
 You let the fairies fox you while the devil
 Does you. Concentrate on me.

Reason for Rejection
An interesting monologue, not least in the fact that although only written in the 1940s it reads like a classical text at times. The play interested me as suitable material for Everyman, as it touches on themes on morality and mortality, as well as being written in witty verse, much like much of Duffy's adaptation. I was unsure of this mostly because of how far from naturalism this strayed, making it not very useful for both Laramie and Her Naked Skin, and although Thomas' charisma and humour bears resemblance to Everyman, I felt i was cutting off too many options.

Dakin, 'The History Boys'

I know. Still, apropos Passchendaele, can I bring you up to speed on Fiona? She's my Western Front. Last night, for instance, meeting only token resistance, I reconnoitred the ground… Are you interested in this? As far as… the actual place. I mean, not onto it and certainly not into it. But up to it. At which point the Hun, if I may so characterise the fair Fiona, suddenly dug in, no further deployments were sanctioned, and around 23.00 hours our forces withdrew.Like whereas I'd begun the evening thinking this might be the big push. And the beauty of it is, the metaphor really fits.I mean, just as moving up to the front-line troops presumably had to pass the sites of previous battles where every inch of territory has been hotly contested, so it is with me… like particularly her tits, which only fell after a prolonged campaign some three weeks ago and to which I now have immediate access and which were indeed the start line for last night's abortive thrust southwards.

Reason for Rejection
I've used this monologue before, and it serves both the purpose of being extremely fun and a great example of an RP accent - perfect for naked skin. Originally, this was going to be my main choice for Her Naked Skin, until I found Alastair and 'Posh', which I found to be ultimately far more extreme in terms of showing the disgustingly arrogant side of privilege and aristocracy. This was far too likeable, and not contrasting enough to show a full spectrum.